Archive for category Rants
Australian Standard Business Reporting
Here’s my experience with the Standard Business Reporting software for Australia, I hope it helps some of you decide whether or not those guys should get paid a salary.
Little bit of background first. I’m looking at writing some software with a payroll system hanging off the side, and came across the Australian Standard Business Reporting software online while looking at payroll info and thought to myself “Why not sign up, get the technical details and work out if it will add value to my software?” The Standard Business Reporting software essentially lets you create tables that interface with government databases.
I signed up, put in my company information and personal details, sent it off and waited for the license application papers to turn up. Instead, they call my phone to tell me they’re going on leave and could I contact someone else the next week. I think to myself “WHY?” Just send me the license papers. Oh, apparently they “just want some information about the software you’re developing”. Yeah, and I ask again “WHY?”.
I just don’t get it – all I want is the technical information on implementation to work out whether the costs of implementing it will provide enough benefit long term to outweight the cost of me just manually keeping it up to date myself. I don’t really need to describe the operations of my software to a third party. It’s not a secret, I’ve already got a website about it, but I dislike when their instructions state “Send us all your personal info to apply, make sure you fill in all the required fields” then they don’t send out what they promised, and “ring to confirm details”.
Long and short of it is, I didn’t bother getting back to them as I think they answered my question with their absolutely terrible first contact. “Yeah, I’m on leave next week so contact X”.
I’m an accountant, I keep up with crap like payroll/gst/etc just because that stuff is overall part of my job and I deal with it every day. Customers keep me up to date with changes, and constant support requests on accounting issues force me to stay up to date or look like a fool.
Seriously? I mean, seriously? They couldn’t even forward me the license APPLICATION forms? DERR DERR DERR BRAIN SHUTTING DOWN NOW
Whatever.
Come to think of it, this post wasn’t very funny was it. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10 it probably rates fairly low, heading towards dead boring. I mean, really, it wouldn’t make a dead man laugh would it? Probably wouldn’t even get a smile off a carcass.
With no further ado, I hereby present the funny version of the above:
“So I was on my holidays in Bundaberg and it was late, but I was still up looking at pictures writing software for the program I’m developing when I came across a website advertising a great opportunity for software integration with government databases. Whatever that means. My first thought was “Let’s see what this does” and it seemed legit so I went ahead and filled out my details (it was midnight) and sent it in. The next morning I came out of the shower to a missed call where the lady left a message, “Without a secured deposit on your soul and two friends we can’t forward you an application form sorry, call me back when you’ve got a line of credit from You Know Who.” I thought that was a bit creepy, so instead I ignored them.”
Star Wars: The Old Republic grace period
Heh, so I thought I could do a mini rant here about a lie by Stephen Reid about the grace period.
See, I don’t fall for the “Head of customer relations doesn’t know about grace period” gag. Doesn’t make sense, he had to know or he’s definitely a bad employee. So what’s the issue, you ask? In a post in August he stated, no ambiguity, that there was a grace period where people could play temporarily while they wait for their physical game box to arrive.
As of today, grace period is no more! Those people who bought physical editions won’t be able to play after the 20th December until their boxes arrive (providing they get to play prior to the 20th December at all). Ah, the rage was tremendous – roughly two pages of posts every 30 seconds, it hit 4000 posts in about an hour and a half.
Of course, there were the defenders who tried deflecting the blame to EA, and others who deflected the blame to Bioware, and even others who said there were no lies and things change. Since this is the XD Project where we are right and the world is wrong I’m going to go ahead and state categorically that those people are morons. That is all.
Thankyou Jesus…
Yeah, you know you’re having a bad day when every time you get off the phone you moan quietly to yourself “Thankyou Jesus”. People are quite literally idiots. I’m an idiot myself sometimes. I remember putting in a ticket once where all I needed to do was drag a scroll bar down. I apologised profusely to the person who helped me and was told “No problem! Lots of people are doing that at the moment!” Still didn’t make me less of an idiot but I was gratified to know there were other idiots in the world.
I have a massive headache and a great inclination to just bust out with “YOU’RE AN IDIOT” to the next person who calls, no matter who it is. I didn’t know there was so much stupid in the world.
Couple of case examples:
Local machines have problem running software, server machine has no problems running software. Problem is not with software. Problem can be fixed by generating EXE from compiler on a Windows 7 machine. Problem is obviously not with our code, yet I spend 48 hours working on problem. God help me if I don’t become a practicing homicidal maniac.
What about this one? Code isn’t set up in system so it reports error “No code set up”. Do you:
a) write to support and tell them you don’t have a code set up
b) put the code in the system
Option a) every single time, baby! Hell yeah, gotta waste me some support person’s time!
Or there’s the “How do I return a Return Authority credit in two parts?” query. My response was almost “By pressing the mouse button while on the RA screen.” However, sarcasm and job security are mutually exclusive.
Last, but not least there’s that last trick. It’s an oldie but a goodie. “I was doing my GST for the first quarter of last year…” Are your alarm bells going off? Mine did. Justifiably. WHY ARE YOU DOING YOUR GST NOW FOR LAST YEARS FIRST QUARTER? SOMEBODY JUST SHOOT ME NOW!!!
This blog is good relaxation therapy.
Some thoughts on Ebay
It has been my opinion for some time that Ebay is an evil hive of scum and villainy and prolonged contact will eat your soul. I’ve come to this conclusion after spending late nights bidding on items while people have upped prices into exorbitant regions and I’ve spent far more money becuase I got committed to getting the item and had to have it for any cost. I also bought items which ended up looking nothing like the image online and recieving “genuine” products which in no way were possibly genuine.
It’s an open auction site – no controls, just a rating bar – and the potential for lies, misrepresentations and outright borderline thieving of money is a cesspit with a monster within just waiting to rear its ugly head. Something like the below:
How digital camera’s have ruined amateur photography
Before people say “That’s a subjective title, digital cameras have advanced my business and given me thousands of options that conventional photography never could have!” I just want to say that I don’t disagree that they’re a phenomenal invention and open up entirely new horizons. What I’m trying to say is that our family photo albums are jam packed with photos of my older brothers, myself and two of my younger brothers and then woefully lacking in photographs of the youngest.
I’m sure many people can relate to the following example -
I’m 23, so I was born in 1988 – back in the days when the Internet didn’t have a graphical user interface and if you said ”Hyperlink” to someone they either thought you were a Trekkie or a Star Wars/Sci-fi fan. When I was born I had grandparents, mothers and aunts all with cameras and I’ve got my share of ‘baby moments’ (yeah, there’s the obligatory “Hey, this is Daniel in the bath at 2 months old” shots – and back then you didn’t have to be a pedo to take shots of naked babies apparently). Growing up, we’d go on trips with family and a month or two later they’d bring their photos with them when they had them developed and the parents would compare the best shots while us kids rated the ones they put down based on how stupid we’d managed to look in the photograph.
I’m thinking to myself now, weddings excluded, when the last time anyone went through a new bunch of digital photos in my family? I think it was a year ago when my brother got back from Canada with pictures of himself in hospital. Before that it was probably a year prior when my aunt visited America/Europe and took photos of the trip. Beyond that, I got five photos of my family’s trip up the North Coast of Australia this year.
You know what is worse? People actually defend the digital camera “Oh, but they’re so convenient and easy!!! So cheap to develop or keep on your computer to view whenever you want! I can send them online to a photo shop and go pick them up instead of dropping off a canister! I can touch up my own photos now and remove red-eye etc etc etc.”
Call me an old man, but back in my day when we used to have photos taken they actually got printed and you saw them. I miss those days. I keep looking at my photo on Facebook and go “Dude, that’s six months old and you took it yourself from your camera phone because there aren’t any others!”
I’d go so far as to say that amateur (family) photography was more common when I was born with that ancient and difficult technology than now with our ‘easy and cheap’ commodity. The quality was also higher. It was also easier to take family photographs – people knew you were paying for film and respected that money was being spent on their image. When was the last time you had a family photograph? Nowadays I’m reluctant to even bother considering I’ll never see the end result.
However, I’m not here just to complain, I have some solutions as well. The first solution is:
Be more free with your photographs (minus the naked baby shots) [Actually, don't even bother taking them, they're just awkward]
I understand that in this day and age there are such things as predators, so you don’t want your pictures falling into the wrong hands, but at the end of the day are you also going to lock your family in a cupboard with no lights and smash all cameras with flash enabled? You walk into a park and any guy can randomly snap your photograph. You walk through Queen St Mall and that tourist guy who’s snapping shots of the Commonwealth Bank and Government House? He got you too. That guy parked across the street who honked his horn waiting for his date? Yep, smile and say cheese then tell your kids to go play out the back. Paranoia – there is a cure. LIGHTEN UP!
Use technology to enable bulk photography emails
We all know “that guy” – you know, that dude who sends you the 10MB emails stuffed with photos of his cat, dog, wife, balls, whatever. He failed his technology check, went directly to Gaol and did not pass Go or collect $200. I met him in Gaol, and broke his camera over his head for being stupid. Then I dug a hole in the ground with said camera and buried him up to his neck and forcefed him the rest of the camera. I then showed him how with a quick program (http://www.getpaint.net/) you can open your files, modify their size, and save them as a JPEG with much lower size.
Do people even realise that they can send 800×600 photos at roughly 1ooKB’s per photo? I attached a picture of my new WRX to this post below – click on it to see full size – it’s 89KB’s.
For the previous guy sending 10MB emails, that’s 112 photos. Yes, ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE SHOTS! The technology is there, it’s simple – took me about 15 seconds to convert that photo. People are just failures at technology. I’ll do a post next about how easy it is to convert a photo with Paint.NET.
Lastly, be careful
So we looked at the paranoid people and the technological failures – now I’m going to say my last bit today about digital photography. Recently at work we had two companies lose their data because their backups were insufficient – you too could experience problems and lose your data. It’s very important that you have backed up your photos somewhere else – if you sent them to other people via email this would be done “Hey Bob, please forward me back that email I sent you and you probably saved to your hard disk”. If you used Hotmail it’d be in your sent items for you to recover by yourself.
I’m a hater of digital cameras :(
