As a strong defender of our military, and a fan of Australian soldiers, I think any changes to reduce their remuneration are unpatriotic and devalue the excellent work they do in protecting our country and way of life.
“Hit-the-bottom-and-started-digging”
As the senior management of this website have fallen so far as to suggest unacceptable changes to the benefits accorded to our front-man, Bob, I consider it my duty to oppose this in light of the burden it will place on our hard working pixel.
Without Bob, our website images would be in constant danger of failing, some of our ordered lists would be broken, and the site layout would require work before it could be presented to the world’s view. Bob contributes behind the scenes, rarely ever directly in the public eye, and the cost is very low compared to some of the site’s other functions, like dictatorship and poor writing quality.
At our latest meeting, chaired by the notorious Sayne “Budget-Deficit-Incoming” Wwan, the administrators were presented with a horrific proposal, designed only to lower morale amongst our peons and foster discontent amongst the pixels, all in the name of a fiscal benefit. I ask you, are we so greedy to deny those who serve us without complaint a single day of extra leave to visit their beloved? To save a few dollars, deny Bob the opportunity to spend some quality time at Christmas with those who love him best? In the calamitous event of CSS modification, potentially the last Christmas he will ever have (excepting the “Christmas” payout his parents/estate would receive that is)?
“Lend me your ears”
Friends, I have yet to come to the worse part of it! The proposal only applies to single pixels, married pixels so far are unaffected by the change. If this is not an example of blatant discrimination, and a sign that the hypocritical administrator who brought this proposal is entirely unfit to participate in the administration of this site, then you may call me a kite and fly me off a cliff! This damnable proposal shows Doozerdan for what he really is and whose interests he’s supporting.
It’s no secret that layout spending is a contested topic in a world where Flash, HTML & CSS are giving way to HTML5 websites, but until the world reaches a unified position we cannot afford to leave our layout unprotected should changes be made to reduce job satisfaction for pixels like Bob and leave our image borders unprotected. Destroying this vital role is just typical behaviour for an administrator whose connections in the industrial and arts world remove him from the daily worries of the rest of the population, and demonstrates his lack of connection with his population where problems like these are very real. We need to care for our peons, as exploiting unhappy peons is harder than if they have the idea we’re looking after them.
“Calling for a defense”
I call on Doozerdan to make full revelation of the entire impact of his plan, and how he intends to compensate single pixels like Bob. I also call on Doozerdan to explain why these changes are only for single pixels, while married pixels already incur more perks and benefits in their base package and these remain unchanged. I suggest Doozerdan also reveal any personal interest he may hold in having these privileges revoked, as it is the opinion of this administrator that there may be a possibility for him to receive private undisclosed kick-backs through contracts or share ownership.
“Shameless self-promotion”
This site needs honesty, care and integrity amid its fiscal decisions and I am of the opinion that the proper administrator for the budgetary leadership role should be someone who protects the interests of those whose livelihoods depend on them. Clearly Doozerdan demonstrates himself not to be this person, and I am the right administrator for the job.
I will be opposing this change in the upcoming meeting. Feel free to vote your opinion on this matter at the right hand side of the webpage, but since we’re a dictatorship duopoly we don’t care it may not affect the final outcome.
Daniel
A Site Administrator and Dictator